As a rule, we generally think of ourselves as nice people. We think of ourselves as being as being above average on friendliness and politeness. By all practical accounts people should like us. Our perspectives are rational and make sense to us; most people see the world from our point of view.
That is a high-definition relationship. That is intimacy. Not only can we know what their favorite food is and what they studied in college, but we can also start to understand how they felt when their dad worked too long or their sister made fun of them whenever they were in public. We can understand more than just the facts. We can start to understand their experiences too.
Your experiences change you. On the first pass, that statement may seem to go without saying. It’s a given. You can probably think of some of those milestones right now. Maybe it was graduation day. For some people, it may have been the loss of a loved one. Marriage, the birth of children, retirement: all of these are great examples of milestone moments. These are the kind of moments we point to when we say that something happened and now we are different.