As a rule, we generally think of ourselves as nice people. We think of ourselves as being as being above average on friendliness and politeness. By all practical accounts people should like us. Our perspectives are rational and make sense to us; most people see the world from our point of view.
From a faith perspective, I grew up following the Jesus tradition and, in that pursuit, I learned about something called The Golden Rule. You know it: Do to others what you would want them to do to you. And, to be fair, it’s not like Jesus had the market cornered on this – He was just paraphrasing something that came from Judaism hundreds of years before, and they had likely picked it from some other group. As it turns out, there are versions of this idea that surface in just about every major religious practice throughout history, from Confucianism to Native American Spirituality. There might not be a more universal truth.
That is a high-definition relationship. That is intimacy. Not only can we know what their favorite food is and what they studied in college, but we can also start to understand how they felt when their dad worked too long or their sister made fun of them whenever they were in public. We can understand more than just the facts. We can start to understand their experiences too.